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Screensize: 640 x 480 800 x 600 1024 x 768 1280 x 1024 UserName: Password: Enter Anti SPAM Code: Click here to refresh this page Format Mode: Basic  Help  Prompt  Format: Font Andale Mono Arial Arial Black Book Antiqua Century Gothic Comic Sans MS Courier New Georgia Impact Lucida Console Script MT Bold Stencil Tahoma Times New Roman Trebuchet MS Verdana   Size 1 2 3 4 5 6   Color Black Red Yellow Pink Green Orange Purple Blue Beige Brown Teal Navy Maroon LimeGreen Message Icon:                             Message: * HTML is OFF * Forum Code is ON Smilies [quote][i]Originally posted by James57[/i] [br]I come from a very disfunctional family. Way before I started using as a child I had alot of addict behavior. I was in and out of juvenile hall and institutions for car theft and running away from home. I had my first drink when I was about 14 but hated it . When I got into high school I drank some at parties and always got drunk. I used to think that it didnt cause me problems then but I believe I was wrong because I dropped out of school in my senior year and had some episodes of coming home drunk. I went in the army a year later and was sent to vietnam where things got real bad real fast. Drinking was not a problem initially in the military. I was proud of what I was doing and was feeling very good about myself. Then I had my first joint on the plane to nam and found an instant friend. Had my second about an hour after I got there and from there it was on. I was stoned every single day I was in vietnam and as a helicopter machine gunner that tends to be a very dangerous situation. I was a drug addict with a machine gun and unlimited ammo. I did speed,opium and weed there along with various other things provided by the friendly medic. As you can imagine ,when I returned home I was a raging drug addict. Crazy from nam and crazy from dope and alcohol. Then I discovered the needle and my first heroin addict . I did some heroin and liked it but never really got strung out on it. As you may figure my military future was gone but I managed to get out with an honorable discharge and a few medals from nam. For the next 30+ years I was in hell. I stole ,lied ,cheated ,almost decimated my family and spent loads of time in nut houses and jails and drug programs through the veterans administration. I believe those places kept me alive long enough to get to narcotics anonymous. That and a god that must love me more than I could ever imagine and a mother who refused to let me die. Today I am working the twelve steps and will have 4 years clean and sober in june but I am just beginning to realize just how broken I am. To not work the steps for me would be to die. The miracles that I see in my life today and the friends and the healing in my family are all because I came with just alittle bit of willingness and it mushroomed from there into a relationship with my higher power I choose to call god and a life I never thought possible. James DOS: 6/6/2000 [/quote]   Check here to include your profile signature.