| T O P I C R E V I E W |
| God_Chaser |
Posted - January 10 2003 : 6:38:04 PM
This is a real life situation presently going on in the town I am living and involves a rather outspoken freind of mine.
Here it is. The local AA club rents space to AA groups for meetings, it also provided space for both Club activities and AA activities. Sometimes people announce the clubs events at meetings during the AA announcements. My freind is very vocal and almost always speaks up when this occurs, he is also a member of the club and enjoys the benefits of memberships. Consequently he has gotten in involved in arguements and disputes over the years most of the time people accept what he has to say and move on and other times people have actually gone as far as written complaints.
Now the club is operated by a manager and provides compensations to a few non-employees all of these people answer to a board of directors comprised exclusively of AA members.....remember the Club is not AA!
But since the Club rents space to AA groups and is located on private property its power goes a bit further than one might expect. When an AA person causes conflict or infringes on the comfort of a chosen few individuals, the Club Board can meet and has met to decide that persons fate. In several circumstances they have met and actually decided to ban AA members from the club. In doing so they actually prevent individuals from attending AA meetings as well since the meetings are held on private property owned by this Club. My freind is and has been convinced that this is a dangerous situation and very wrong for several reasons.
He has consequently received a letter from the president of the Club's Board of Directors to appear at the next general membership to respond and explains his comments and criticism of the Clubs policy. No doubt he will be banned as a result of his verbal criticisms and opinions about the club overstepping its authority and infringing upon the rights of AA members to attend the meeting they choose to attend.
What are your thoughts on the subject?
Michael
"In hoc cognoscent omnes quia mei estis discipuli si dilectionem habueritis ad invicem."
Thomas Merton |
| 8 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
| Samf |
Posted - January 18 2003 : 03:04:11 AM
There's another club I know where they just have coffee and tables.
And I have some friends who had real good experiences in other clubs, in the south, where they lived.
So it sounds like some of them are real good things.
I am sorry if I sent out the wrong impression, Matt.
The other one I personally knew about I just never went to much. At that time...maybe it's changed...not too many folks were there, out in the main room, and I was too chicken to go to the private area.
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| Matt V. |
Posted - January 17 2003 : 3:51:53 PM
There weren't any "clubs" where I came from, and if there are any here on the island I haven't heard anything about them. Just from the descriptions I've read here, it sounds like these places are "dry" barroooms. Am I mistaken? Pool tabes, coffee/soda bar, stereos and TVs etc. If you take the booze from an alcoholic, you've still got an alcoholic. If you take the booze out of a barroom...
Go figure.
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| Samf |
Posted - January 17 2003 : 2:34:15 PM
Hi, God_Chaser!
Thank you for the update!
It sounds like the softer, easier way, bascially.
In my early experience, with AA, when I felt absolutley nuts, I would go to a club and sit there, waiting for the next meeting. I wouldn't sit at the bar, because it wierded me out. It reminded of me of the old days. I wouldn't play pool, for the same reason, there. The club just seemed too much like a bar.
And that's just me. Others may not see it the way I did.
What I did go early on, was in hopes to find another AA to talk with.
And it felt safer than being alone, at the time.
Later on, I was blessed with some good AA friends, and no longer felt a need for that.
I hear what you are saying, because I saw people do the same thing.
My only hope is that later on, they decide they need more than just the club. At least I know I did.
I had an old friend tell me, one time, that he thought AA is the same, yesterday, today and forever. I hope so. I figure as long as there are folks who out there, living the program, and folks who are hurting, that the recovery that is in AA will continue.
One thing I really liked about the people who twelve stepped me is that they did invite me to coffee, to other functions, to their homes. We socialized, but in that socializing, I learned so much more, and a had a fellowship grow up around me.
And I remember it, because they did this frightened newcomer all the good in the world by making me a part of things, rather than a part from.
I am sorry about your friend.
I am not surprised, but am sorry that it happened.
Maybe something really good will end up coming out of it, for him.
Sammie
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| God_Chaser |
Posted - January 17 2003 : 06:23:13 AM
All very good comments....the problem seems to be that most of the folks who attend AA in that club are newer folks who like their comforts. They like sitting around in leather sofas chugging coffee and talking trash. They Like shooting pool while listening to music through a state of the art sound system. They like their 1.5 million dollar club and all the things it offers to keep them occupied. They have mistaken the fellowship of AA for the program AA itself and have become comfortable in their ignorance. They wouldn't move without a major incident.
The older folks have long since given up the battle of trying to educate the newer less respectful generation. They've withdrawn to other places Big Books in hand in an attempt to preserve a program that they think along with them is dying.
Their is an unhealthy form of dependency upon this club. I remember the area and meetings before it existed, people were forced to socialize in diners, parking lots and members homes, they had yo extend the effort to travel to meetings.
Now they just go to the club. Maybe they wait for a meeting maybe they play pool. Personally I think there is something seriously wrong when 5-7 newcomers are playing pool while there are at least 3 meetings going on at the same time within 20 feet of where they are.
Update: My freind has indeed been banned from the club and told if he sets foot on the property he will be arrested for tresspassing.
Michael
"In hoc cognoscent omnes quia mei estis discipuli si dilectionem habueritis ad invicem."
Thomas Merton |
| n/a |
Posted - January 16 2003 : 09:43:04 AM
It is a sad fact that many members of A.A. do not under stand that clubs and A.A. are separate. They think that because we hold meetings in Clubs they are the same.
I am, as your friend, very outspoken on the subject. I believe that if you understand the difference it is your duty and responsibility to distinguish the two.
There will always be these kinds of issues around clubs. Many of the people working in clubs don’t attend meetings, money is an issue etc., its important that we draw the line as soon as the Serenity prayer is said that our primary purpose is to stay sober and help others achieve sobriety. Clubs and Club Managers come and go, but A.A. Has not and will not. If your club is trying to dictate A.A. Policy close the meeting and move somewhere else. I have a feeling that when enough meetings move they will change their attitude. Remember A.A. comes first, then the club.
Farrell
http://www.help101.net |
| Samf |
Posted - January 11 2003 : 8:14:54 PM
Yah, Michael. Doesn't sound like a good thing. If it was some other type of building, other than an AA club, and something like that started happening, I'd sure find another place to hold meetings. But I guess that would depend on each individual group conscience. Like the group would be a spiritual entity, and the third tradition doesn't exclude individul drunks; it doesn't seem to, to me.
The club is almost like a business, isn't it? Something separate and apart from AA?
I can sure see your friend's point, about not allowing certain AA members to attend meetings. If he has pointed it out, and they continue to do what they are doing, what's a person to do. Find a place where they can carry on, I guess.
Sure stinks...but some of the stuff I end up having to accept, I still don't like.
Have a feeling it will always be like that.
 Sam
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| Matt V. |
Posted - January 10 2003 : 10:12:05 PM
Better yet - just find another loacation for the group to meet. I've been involved in that type of thing before - the group just moves. (I belonged to one group that moved so many times in one year that it was suggested we change the name to The Nomad Group  ).
Go figure.
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| journeytoserenity |
Posted - January 10 2003 : 9:56:50 PM
Well, Michael, I am going to keep it short and sweet!
Get the hell out of there and start another AA group - somewhere else!!!
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